tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-43289517372075611772024-02-20T21:16:15.459-07:004 Books in 1 Year - A Writer's ChallengeChronicling one writer’s attempt to write four novels—in four different genres—in one year.James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-41103347074820216792010-08-19T14:59:00.004-06:002010-08-19T18:34:12.461-06:00...and the Rejection Letters start trickling in.<p></p><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">Good day loyal readers,<br /><br />So far I have sent out a total of 9 query letters: 5 for Son of Ogres and 4 for Nanuq.<br /><br />Son of Ogres: 2 form rejection letters.<br /><br />For those of you who are not in the know, there are two types of rejection letters you get from agents.<br /><br />The first is a personalized letter that mentions your book by name and perhaps the agent mentions some specifics about the book/characters/plot that they liked, but they just felt they were not the right fit.<br /><br />The second is the form letter that agents send out to writers without making any changes to the text first. It is the digital version of a big rubber stamp. I personally have nothing against form letters. It is quick to use and allows the agent to get back to what they need to do: sift through their email inbox looking for that next elusive treasure. But there are some sensitive wannabe writers who find form reject letters at the very least unhelpful and at worst a slap in the face. If their book idea was rejected, they want to know why. Was it too long? Too short? Was it the plot or the characters or the setting or ??? Was the query letter itself poorly written? How can I fix it? What changes can I make that you won’t reject it a second time? Some amateur would be writers will send a reply email demanding to know why the agent did not accept their book and telling them that they will be sorry they passed up on the next Stephen King/JK Rowling/Tom Clancy.<br /><br />But I digress…</span></p><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">The long and the short of it is that agents only get paid when their clients get paid. If they spent all their time telling writers they rejected what was wrong with the queries or their books or whatever, then they would be broke. So in my books a form rejection letter is okay by me.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">So for your edification, I am posting the two form rejection letters I got from agents this week. I am not including their names or agencies because I wouldn’t want to embarrass them for turning down the next Stephen King/JK Rowling/Tom Clancy… (:<br /><br /><br />Letter #1<br /><br /><span style="color:#3333ff;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Thank you very much for reaching out to me and Folio Jr. for representation. I very much appreciate hearing from you. Due to the large volume of submissions that I receive, it is impossible for me to answer every query individually, however I assure you that your material was carefully evaluated. After consideration, I regret to say that your project is not right for my list at this time. As you know, this is a subjective business and another reader may feel differently. I truly wish you all the best in finding a wonderful representative to champion your work and much success in your journey toward publication.</span><br /></span><br />Letter #2<br /><br /><span style="color:#3366ff;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;">Thank you for telling me about your book, but I wouldn't be the right agent for it.<br /><br />Please know that another agent is likely to feel differently and will know exactly where to send your work. I wish you the best in placing the manuscript elsewhere.</span><br /></span><br />And there you have it!</span></p>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-70358927490083567492010-08-19T12:20:00.001-06:002010-08-19T12:22:46.235-06:00Chapter Ten of RUST has been posted<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Hi All,</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Just a note to let you know that I have posted Chapter Ten of RUST to DosStoc.com. Below is the link:</span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/51110866/RUST---Chapter-Ten"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/51110866/RUST---Chapter-Ten</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Enjoy!</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-34876201043910397382010-08-11T20:09:00.011-06:002010-08-13T07:57:51.371-06:00Gave myself a heart attack this morning...<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I had finished writing Chapter Ten of <em>RUST</em> this morning, and of course I went back to reread what I wrote in order to "brush it up" with a few minor edits. So I get to the section where Rifter is about to show the clan elder the Talisman...and I find it missing! I find a gap almost a page long has been deleted from my chapter. So I'm panicking, wondering if I accidently highlighted it and deleted because my palm brushed the touch pad on my laptop.<br /><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><blockquote>Umm...on a side note, before I continue on with my story: those touch pads are a pain in the hiney! When I am writing on the bus, and I forget to turn it off, my <span style="color:#cc0000;">curser</span> cursor jumps all over the page whenever my hand brushes the pad. I will be typing away merrily and all of as sudden my letters will no longer be appearing…and then I realize the <span style="color:#cc0000;">curser</span> cursor has jumped higher up the page and I am writing in the middle of a word of near perfect prose…sigh.</blockquote><br /><br />Okay, back to our regularly scheduled post.<br /><br />So I thought I had accidently deleted a page worth of story by way of the old <strong>Touch Pad of Doom</strong>! So I find myself faced with a dilemma that I am sure all writers dread: having to rewrite from memory something that you already wrote, but lost somehow. As the saying goes that lightning never strikes in the same place twice, it is hard to recreate the original prose in the same way.<br /><br />I remembered some of the key phrases, but as I was writing it again I was sure I was missing some special nuances of the original text. I stared at my monitor and cursed my carelessness.<br /><br />Then I remembered the blog post I wrote yesterday…<br /><br />I had thought I had copied-and-pasted the text from my story into the blog post…but instead I <strong>CUT</strong>-and-pasted! My work was saved, all 340 glorious words of it. Thanking my lucky stars, I reinserted the missing prose and then saved it in IN THREE PLACES!!!<br /><br /></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-84908710957869877452010-08-10T07:57:00.003-06:002010-08-10T12:36:22.468-06:00Nearly finished Chapter Ten of Rush<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I was writing on the bus this morning and I am nearly finished Chapter Ten. I would like to offer some more insight into the mind of writer…or at least into the mind of this particular writer. As I have mentioned before I write a chapter-by-chapter outline before I start writing the actual book. But this process only takes you so far. Here is an example.<br /><br />This selection comes from Chapter Ten of <em>RUST</em>. Our hero Rifter has arrived at the town of Clan Hearth, which has roughly ten times the population of his clan, Deep Fathom. His clan was attacked by the Quickening Spear Clan, and his clan elder, Red, was mortally wounded in the attack. Red gave Rifter an amulet which he calls the Talisman, which glows blue when touched by human skin. It is believed to be a key that leads to paradise, which supposedly resides in the highest level of the world of <em>RUST</em>.<br /><br />In this chapter Rifter has just met elder of Clan Hearth, Lorkin, and his apprentice, Sammel. Rifter was introduced to them by Meah, a girl whom he met in the tunnels leading to Clan Hearth:<br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#3333ff;">Meah told Lorkin how she met Rifter and what had happened to his clan. The older man shook his head sadly as he listened to her tale. She also told him about Red’s Talisman.<br /><br />“May I see it?” Lorkin asked in almost a whisper.<br /><br />Rifter lifted the amulet out from under his shirt, holding it by its leather thong.<br /><br />“And it glows if you touch it?”<br /><br />Rifter demonstrated by touching it with one finger. Sammel jumped back as the Talisman bathed them all in a soft blue light.<br /><br />“It must surely be a sacred gift from the Old Ones.” Lorkin said breathlessly. He lifted a trembling hand up, but seemed fearful of actually touching the amulet.<br /><br />“Red said it wasn’t made by the Ance—Old Ones.” Rifter glanced down at it with reverence. “He said it was beyond their ability to construct, that it must have been made by others.”<br /><br />“Blasphemy!” Sammel cried out, his face reddening.<br /><br />Rifter was startled by the apprentice’s outburst. The word was meaningless to him.<br /><br />“Now, now, Sammel.” Lorkin put a restraining hand upon the younger man’s shoulder. “Do not be so harsh. His ways are not our ways.”<br /><br />“But clearly this Talisman was created by the Old Ones. It should belong to the Temple and not be in the careless hands of an ignorant savage.” The apprentice glared at Rifter like he had just stolen his food.<br /><br />Sammel suddenly lunged for the amulet, but Rifter easily dodged his clumsy grasp. Meah let out a little shriek and Mekah nearly fell off her shoulder.<br /><br />“Sammel! Stop!” The Elder roared as he grabbed the apprentice by the arms, showing an amazing strength that Rifter did not expect.<br /><br />“I think I’ve seen enough, Meah.” Rifter dropped the Talisman back under his shirt and turned to leave.</span><br /><br />At this point I had no idea what to write next. Does Rifter walk right out of the Temple, with Meah trailing behind him? Does Lorkin stop him somehow? If he does, what would make Rifter stop? These were all the thoughts that were going through my head as a sat on the bus, staring at the laptop screen, my hands poised over the keyboard. Below is the decision I came to:<br /><br /><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#3333ff;">“Please wait.” Lorkin cried.<br /><br />Rifter paused, torn between showing respect to a clan elder and his desire to get away from the angry apprentice.<br />“Sammel, please leave now.”<br /><br />The younger man hesitated, gave Rifter a hard stare, and left the Temple.</span> </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">So there ya go--a glimpse under the hood of my writing process.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Cheers!</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-56885660294197886482010-08-06T09:10:00.002-06:002010-08-06T09:25:31.846-06:00Dove back into RUST this morning<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">After being away for awhile, I am now back in the world of <em>RUST</em>. I was worried that I had lost a whole chapter of that book when I misplaced my flash drive, but I found Chapter Ten whole and unscathed. :: whew! :: It took a bit of rereading to get my mind back into the flow of that world and its main character: Rifter. I think that is the same process for both readers and writers when they have stepped away from a story too long. I imagine that guys are getting a bit concerned that I will not be able to meet my goal. I still have two books to finish and I only have five months left in order to accomplish that task.<br /><br />Let’s see…I am ten chapters into <em>RUST</em>, and I have it outlined to be twenty-three chapters (including the epilogue), so I have roughly thirteen chapters to go there. As for <em>FLAME</em>, I am nine chapters into it, and I have it outlined to thirty-nine chapters, so thirty to go there.<br /><br />So 30 + 13 = 43…and there is a 147 days left in the year…147/43 = 3.41…or roughly one completed chapter every three and half days…<br /><br />:: Faints :: </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"> </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-17801030165227565092010-07-28T12:52:00.003-06:002010-07-28T12:56:00.586-06:00Lost my flash drive :(<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I suffered every teckie's nightmare--I lost my flash drive. Thank goodness I keep copies in other locations--like my laptop--but I lost the most recent draft of my novel Son of Ogres. So I find myself having to redo that edit again. It will only take a couple of days, but nobody likes having to redo what they thought was already done.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Sigh...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">PS: No word on the submitted query letter yet...I will keep you posted.</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-51567259096621077912010-07-16T16:34:00.002-06:002010-07-16T16:38:29.708-06:00Sent out my first query letter of the year!<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I just sent out my first query letter of the year for Son of Ogres. Wish me luck!!!</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-69857204423116505312010-07-13T12:25:00.003-06:002010-07-13T12:27:46.603-06:00Finale (hopefully) version of my query letter for Son of Ogres<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">This is my hopefully final stab at this query letter template. It's short, sweet and I think it has a hook for the reader.</span><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Dear Agent,<br /><br />Brue and Mark are twin brothers, unaware of each other’s existence, because they were raised in different dimensions. Their great-grandmother was an ogre, but only Brue inherited her tremendous size and strength. Brue lives on Pharll, a world of magic and chaos, while Mark was found as an orphan on Earth. Brue leads a small band of loyal followers in a struggle to end slavery on Pharll. Eighteen-year-old Private Mark Sampson has been recruited for a top-secret assignment: to journey to another dimension.<br /><br />Brue and his band are meeting with little success. The slavers are too many, plus they have dark wizards and evil monstrosities on their side. Mark prepares to journey to another dimension, with no choice in the matter and no idea what he will find on the other side. Little does he know that the general who recruited him has his own secret agenda, an agenda that could get Mark killed.<br /><br />My young adult fantasy, Son of Ogres, book I of The Sentinels of Pharll series, is complete at 80,000 words. I am a member of YALITCHAT and Gather.com where I participate in writer support groups.<br /><br />Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.<br /><br />Regards,<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /><br />James Baron<br /><a href="http://james-baron.blogspot.com/">http://james-baron.blogspot.com/</a> </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-64938264031603644562010-07-10T18:46:00.002-06:002010-07-10T19:15:47.648-06:00Trying out for Wipeout Canada<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">There is a TV show in the States called Wipeout, where contestants run a large obstacle course built over water. As you run the course, there are certain obstacles that interfere with you...like boxing gloves on sticks, or swinging booms on pendulums...or the big balls!!! The big balls are these 4 red giant foam stuffed balls that the contestants have to run across to get the other side. They are very bouncy. As you try running across you tend to bounce...a lot...and rarely to people make it across. Usually they just—you guessed it—wipe out! It is a hilarious show and I recommend that you all see it sometime.<br /><br />Now why am I devoting a post to this TV show you might ask? Wellll...they are creating a Canadian version of the show and took applicants for it online...and I applied:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.tvtropolis.com/wipeout/index.html">http://www.tvtropolis.com/wipeout/index.html</a><br /><br />So right now they are calling people back for face-to-face interviews, and I am hoping that my wonderful, entertaining personality shown through enough that they will want to take a second look at me. If I do make it, they will be filming the show in October in Argentina. Yes, that’s right, I said—er—typed Argentina. I have to have a valid passport—which I do—and they will pay all travel expenses.<br /><br />So of course I will let you know if I get picked—or not.<br /><br />Wish me luck!!!<br />-James </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-47035148847350161762010-07-05T13:56:00.002-06:002010-07-05T13:58:36.932-06:00Query letter for Son of Ogres - Version 2<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hi all,<br /><br />I got some really good feedback on my first attempt at writing a query, and I am hoping that this second version is an improvement. I am stepping away from the synopsis route and trying to give my two main characters a voice. I also hope it will entice an agent to want more. I humbly await your comments...</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Dear Agent,<br /><br />Brue and Mark are twin brothers, but they are unaware of each other’s existence, because they were raised on different worlds. Brue Overhill lives on Pharll, a world of magic and chaos, whereas Mark Sampson was found as an orphan on Earth. Their great-grandmother was an ogre, but only Brue inherited her tremendous size and strength. The people of his village call him Son of Ogres, and strangers speak of him in hushed tones.<br /><br />After avoiding capture by slavers, Brue devotes his life to trying to end slavery on Pharll. He has a small band of loyal followers, but they are meeting with little success. The slavers are too many, plus they have dark wizards and evil monstrosities on their side. Even Pharll’s evil goddess is frustrating Brue’s efforts. The young giant also struggles with being a leader when he is just eighteen. Perhaps his quest is doomed to failure and he should quit before they all die in vain.<br /><br />While Brue fights slavery on Pharll, his brother Mark has his own problems. Private Mark Sampson is taken to an underground base to participate in a secret project: to explore another dimension. It seems his former mentor, Dr. Zonov (who mysteriously disappeared three years before), invented a device that can open a portal between dimensions. Mark is nervous of the prospect of journeying to another dimension (who wouldn’t be?), but he doesn’t have much choice in the matter. And it seems the general who brought him in has his own secret agenda. Mark wonders what will happen when the portal is finally opened…and what could come out of it.<br /><br />My young adult fantasy novel, Son of Ogres, book I of The Sentinels of Pharll series, is complete at 80,000 words. I am a member of YALITCHAT and Gather.com where I participate in writer support groups. I am seeking your representation to sell my novel to a publisher. I am also working on 3 other novels you might be interested in: Nanuq, a children’s book; Rust, a Sci-Fi novel; and Flame, a thriller.<br /><br />Thank you in advance for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.<br /><br />Regards,<br /><br /><br />James Baron<br /><a href="http://james-baron.blogspot.com/">http://james-baron.blogspot.com/</a><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-26211858932910545892010-06-29T09:23:00.003-06:002010-06-29T09:26:49.891-06:00Son of Ogres Synopsis v.2<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So here is my second draft of my Son of Ogres Synopsis. This one has more heart and soul, plus it goes to 2 pages. Hopefully this one reads better. </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Son of Ogres Synopsis v.2<br />by James Baron</strong><br /><br />Brue and Mark are twin brothers, but they are unaware of each other’s existence, because they were raised on different worlds. Brue Overhill lives on Pharll, a world of magic and chaos, whereas Mark Sampson was found as an orphan on Earth. Their great-grandmother was an ogre, but only Brue inherited her tremendous size and strength. The people of his village call him Son of Ogres, and strangers speak of him in hushed tones.<br /><br />On the day Brue turns fifteen he is trying to work up the nerve to talk to Shaleana, but she’s afraid he’ll step on her. Despite his formidable appearance, he is not a warrior. He just wants to be a farmer like his father, get married and have children. If only Shaleana could see past his hulking exterior and into his heart, then his dreams might be fulfilled. Unfortunately for Brue, Shaleana fearing him is the least of his worries when a slaver in disguise comes to Deervale. Rankmar has heard rumors of a giant living there and has come to investigate. He spots Brue at the Harvest Night Festival and decides to capture him for a hefty commission.<br /><br />Rankmar waits until Brue is alone on the farm and attacks with four of his men. Brue is terrified and confused. Why are they after me? Then he discovers they are slavers and he fights desperately for his freedom. Brue has never held a sword before, much less used one in a fight, but he picks one up and with his great strength subdues the slavers. Later, Captain Stroggins of the town guard tells Brue to flee and never return, for the slavers will come back in greater numbers. The young giant leaves Deervale, but returns days later; he desperately needs to see his parents one last time. He arrives home and finds his mother and father dead, killed by the slavers in retribution for his escape. Brue buries them and vows he will end slavery on Pharll.<br /><br />Three years pass and Brue has been joined by a small band of loyal companions, who aid him in trying to stop the slavers. In a world where the different races mistrust others at best, and try to kill each other at worst, Brue’s group is unique. His greatest friendship is with Bordel of the pix, a small race known for their fearlessness and agility. The exiled elven brothers Highborn and Skykey wield magic to aid in Brue’s cause. Gedin hates humans as all dwarves do, so why he helps Brue on his quest is a mystery.<br /><br />As Brue struggles with being a leader when he is only eighteen, his brother Mark has his own problems. On Earth Private Mark Sampson has been unexpectedly called back from the Persian Gulf. He is taken to a secret underground base where he meets General Taylor Murphy, who tells him he is needed to join a team for a special assignment. Mark is surprised to learn that his mentor, Dr. Zonov (who mysteriously disappeared three years ago), had invented a device called the Dimensional Rifter. The general tells an incredulous Mark that this machine can open a portal between dimensions. Murphy hopes that Mark’s friendship with the missing scientist will aid the mission when they explore another dimension. Mark is nervous of the prospect of journeying to another dimension (who wouldn’t be?), but he doesn’t have much choice in the matter.<br /><br />On Pharll Brue small band is having little success in their fight with the Slavers Guild, and when Highborn is killed in a raid, Brue considers giving up on his quest. He had hoped that others would be inspired to take up the cause, but they have been fighting this battle alone. The slavers are too many, plus they have dark wizards and evil monstrosities on their side. Brue fears all his friends could die and their deaths will be in vain. But later that night he is visited by the Guardian, who tells Brue that he is a Sentinel of Pharll. The Guardian provides him with a key to could destroy the Slavers Guild.<br /><br />While Brue is dealing with a wondrous revelation, Mark has stumbled upon one more sinister. Mark and his friend Captain Andy Pritchard have discovered that the government is unaware of General Murphy’s secret project. The general has been working with a multi-millionaire scientist who has been using his money to finance their own private scheme. But Mark learns this too late, for the base is on lockdown and the final portal generation test is about to begin.<br /><br />As Mark is trying to warn the government, Brue and his friends have finally reached the slaver stronghold. Using a combination of stealth, magic and brute force, they managed to infiltrate the fortress and access its lowest levels. At the bottom is a great cavern supported by a single pillar of stone. Skykey uses his magic to turn stone to sand and the column collapses. The elf was then supposed to teleport them to safety, but his wand was destroyed in the fight and the companions are forced to flee down an unknown tunnel. Unbeknownst to them, the fortress is saved from destruction by Pharll’s evil goddess—The Adversary. She makes a deal with Rankmar, who sends his slavers, dark wizards and their monsters after Brue.<br /><br />The companions reach the end of the tunnel and discover a vertical pool of multicolored light. Skykey senses that it is magical in nature and that it could be a gateway leading to safety. Taking a leap of faith, they jump through, with enemy hot on their heels. On Earth a scientist activates the Dimensional Rifter and a portal appears in the lab, which Brue and his friends leap out of.<br />Will Brue and his brother Mark be reunited? Find out in the next book.</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-46126569722740026122010-06-28T09:11:00.003-06:002010-06-28T09:47:04.986-06:00Synopsis review from Leatrice McKinney on YALITCHAT<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Here is the critique I got on my synopsis from Leatrice McKinney on YALITCHAT. Very helpful. I will be posting my revised version soon.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hi! Good morning. It's rather early for me and already I'm throwing typos all over the place, so please bear with me in my earthly endeavors</span>.<br /><br />After reading this over once just to get a feel of it, the first thing that leaps out at me is the transition from past to present, or rather Pharll to Earth, are a bit jarring. It doesn't mesh, even at the end when Brue and company, and bad guys, come to to Earth through the portal. It reads like two completely different stories that have no connection, and though that's essentially what they are until the end you have to find some sort of flow that will bind the synopsis together.<br /><br />Example: Paragraph 2 going into paragraph 3, there could be some sort of set up to cushion the drop from this fantastical realm into 90's American. Try and incorporate it into the hooks, something along the lines of "Brue isn't the only one faced with troubles". Something more grabbing than that, but that's the idea. "Back on Pharll" is okay. "Switching back to Earth" give it a sort of mechanical feel. Maybe something like "while Brue and his friends manage to escape the evil goddess, on the Earthen realm Mark his friend". Show a bit of a connection between these words as we get closer to the point where they collide.<br /><br />One other thing that jumped off the page was this sort of rigid take on the story, via the words chosen to express the critical points of the characters' journeys. For instance, in paragraph one we are given the tried and true teenage complication of getting the girl. Brue's goal is made all the more harder to attain by the part that he's a giant. The word challenge just doesn't seem to do the situation justice. It's too sterile. You challenge your friends to a game of mortal kombat, for Brue this is rocking his young world in all the wrong ways. It's more than a challenge, it's a disaster and whoever is reading this should get a taste of how he views it. Another example is the phrase fast-forward three years. It reads very technical. Not technology technical, but step-by-step. Like a recipe. Add 2 cups Ogre and 3 cups slaver, bake on high for 30 minutes. Sorry for the poor attempt at humor, just in a good mood today. The synopsis, as a summary of the story that dives into this wonderful world, should guide a reader through it as opposed to give directions. Maybe that's my personal edge on things shining through, I'm not sure, just giving it as how it comes across to me which is all I can do really.<br /><br />Next is paragraph by paragraph. Paragraph 1: We go from reading about complications right into this issue with the slaver that has arrived in town. It's really abrupt and there's no explanation of how one situation effects the other, and with the word unfortunately beginning the transition, it hints something is troubling the waters, only here the waters are somewhere else. Maybe try "Unfortunately for Brue, Shaleana fearing him is the least of his worries". Kinda cliche but its just to make a point.<br /><br />Paragraph 2: Who are these companions? Do they have names? How did they join Brue? Are they Ogres too or Elves or dwarves? Are these the same slavers from his town/village/place of residence or is this a reference to all slavers in general. Are the slavers the biggest complication on this world or are they a stepping stone in Brue's destiny as a sentinel. We get a lot of nice bits about the story but they could be a little juicer, breathe some life into it. It sounds like it is a phenomenal tale, let the synopsis reflect that.<br /><br />Paragraph 3: Already addressed the transitions. This might be tapping into the manuscript and not the synopsis but being someone's next-door neighbor comes across as awkward when described as a personal connection. Are Mark and the doctor friends? If so, say they are friends and not neighbors. If they are just neighbors, and Mark is the last person to have any sort of lengthy contact with the man, then something else other than "personal" should be used to describe it. Personal gives a feeling of intimacy.<br /><br />Paragraph 4: This tidbit of information about what Brue is up to is important but I think it's oddly placed. Looking over things again, I think the flow would be strengthened if the information in paragraph 4 was included in the final paragraph. The break in what is going on with Mark and the General is unnecessary unless something huge is going on. So, continued talking about mark, then come back to how Brue breaks into to the lair, big fight, they have to book and then they spot the light. That way, the tension with the face off with the Adversary isn't broken by a "meanwhile on planet earth" moment.<br /><br />Paragraph 5: All's well for the most part. The only thing that nudges at me is the embezzling of billions of dollars. That just seems a bit outrageous, like no one is going to notice that much money just up and disappearing. They catch people who do much less. It just seems too fantastical and comes across as a "really? come on" moment instead of the punch I'm sure was the goal.<br /><br />Paragraph 6: The light at the end of the tunnel is a huge cliche. Beware cliches. A dead end doesn't have to be in a tunnel. It could be at the edge of a cliff or getting trapped in a canyon. Also, this is the first time we've heard anything about any dark wizards and monsters. Try and introduce them somewhere else early on cause it seems like, if all of that AND a goddess was in the castle, then the guardian and his key to destroying the slavers didn't do much but land them in trouble.<br /><br />All in all it's a bit stale, please don't hate me, and lacking any sense of feeling from the character. I don't feel Brue's frustration in dealing with Shaleana, nor his fear for his parents. I don't feel his drive for wanting to stop the slavers. I don't feel the peril when he goes into the castle and has to leap through this strange glowing door or face certain doom. And with Mark, I don't feel the mystery behind what he's been called to be a part of. All of the pieces of the story are here, they just have to be woven together and given a good helping of soul. </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-49479401642079045952010-06-25T12:29:00.003-06:002010-06-25T12:31:22.563-06:00RUST - Chapter Nine now Online...hey, that rhymes!<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The lastest chapter in the <em>RUST</em> Saga...yes, I am calling it a saga...is now posted. Enjoy.<br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/44978782/RUST---Chapter-Nine"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/44978782/RUST---Chapter-Nine</span></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-66287855732473112352010-06-24T07:59:00.002-06:002010-06-24T08:01:14.562-06:00Son of Ogres - 1-page Synopsis<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Here is my 1-page synopsis for Son of Ogres. All feedback is welcome.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><div align="left"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><strong>Son of Ogres Synopsis<br />by James Baron<br /></strong><br />On the world of Pharll, Brue Overhill is just turning fifteen and is worried about getting the girl he likes to like him back. His challenge: he’s over seven feet tall and stilling growing, because he is part-ogre. Shaleana always seems frightened whenever he comes near her, as though she thinks he’ll step on her. Unfortunately for Brue, a slaver in disguise arrives in town and is determined to capture the young giant for a hefty commission. Brue manages to escape, but his family suffers the slaver’s deadly retribution.<br /><br />Fast-forward three years and Brue has been joined by a small band of loyal companions, who are aiding him in trying to stop the slavers. They meet with little success, and when one of his friends is killed in a raid, Brue gives up on his quest. That night he is visited by the Guardian, who tells Brue that he is a Sentinel of Pharll. The young giant has a special destiny and the Guardian gives him a key to destroying the slavers.<br /><br />On Earth it is 1990 and eighteen-year-old PFC Mark Sampson has been unexpectedly called back from the Persian Gulf. He is taken to a secret underground base where he meets General Taylor Murphy, who tells him he is needed to join a team for a special assignment. Mark’s next-door neighbour, Dr. Zonov (who mysteriously disappeared three years ago), had invented a machine that can open a portal between dimensions. The general hopes that Mark’s personal connection to the missing scientist will aid the mission to explore another dimension. But General Murphy has a secret that could jeopardize the mission and perhaps all their lives as well.<br /><br />Back on Pharll, Brue and his friends have traveled for many days and have finally reached the slaver stronghold. Using a combination of stealth, magic and brute force, they managed to infiltrate the fortress and access its lowest levels. But their plan to destroy the stronghold is thwarted by Pharll’s evil goddess—The Adversary.<br /><br />Switching back to Earth, Mark and his friend Captain Andy Pritchard have discovered that the government is unaware of General Murphy’s secret project. The general has used billions of embezzled dollars to finance his own private scheme. But this knowledge comes too late, for during a routine test, a large dimensional portal is created.<br /><br />Brue and his companions are chased down a tunnel by the slavers, dark wizards and their monsters, only to arrive at a dead end. Before them is glowing circle of light. Taking a leap of faith, they jump through...and find themselves on Earth, with the enemy hot on their heels.</span></div>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-49209789030905383392010-06-23T13:27:00.003-06:002010-06-24T07:54:11.549-06:00Query Letter for Son of Ogres - First Draft<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hi all!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Here is a query letter template I am trying out for my Young Adult fantasy novel: Son of Ogres. I have based the format on a query letter that was posted on </span><a href="http://queryshark.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://queryshark.blogspot.com/</span></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"> that got a rave review from Janet Reid. I am hoping this format works for my story as well.<br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I am requesting feedback--good and bad--on this letter. Does it grab you? Would you be interested in seeing more if you were an agent for YA lit? Please let me know! </span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Dear Agent,<br /><br />On the world of Pharll, Brue Overhill is just turning fifteen and is worried about getting the girl he likes to like him back. His challenge: he’s over seven feet tall and stilling growing, because he is part-ogre. Shaleana always seems frightened whenever he comes near her, as though she thinks he’ll step on her. Unfortunately for Brue, a slaver in disguise arrives in town and is determined to capture the young giant for a hefty commission. Brue manages to escape, but his family suffers the slaver’s deadly retribution.<br /><br />Fast-forward three years and Brue has been joined by a small band of loyal companions, who are aiding him in trying to stop the slavers. They meet with little success, and when one of his friends is killed in a raid, Brue gives up on his quest. Then that night he is visited by the Guardian, who tells Brue that he is a Sentinel of Pharll. The young giant has a special destiny and the Guardian gives him a key to destroying the slavers. But will it be enough?<br /><br />On Earth it is 1990 and eighteen-year-old PFC Mark Sampson has been unexpectedly called back from the Persian Gulf. He is taken to a secret underground base where he meets General Taylor Murphy, who tells him he is needed to join a team for a special assignment. Mark’s next-door neighbour, Dr. Zonov (who mysteriously disappeared three years ago), had invented a machine that can open a portal between dimensions. The general hopes that Mark’s personal connection to the missing scientist will aid the mission to explore another dimension. But General Murphy has a secret that could jeopardize the mission and perhaps all their lives as well.<br /><br />A young adult fantasy novel, Son of Ogres, first book of the Sentinels of Pharll series, is complete at 80,000 words.<br /><br />Thank you for your time.<br />James Baron</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-2701228057729985512010-06-23T12:13:00.003-06:002010-06-23T12:25:42.766-06:00Finished my third draft of Son of Ogres<span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">This morning on the bus I finished my third draft of <em>Son of Ogres</em> based on the editing done by Tom from YALitChat--thanks Tom!!!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Next step is to work on the Query Letter template and a one page Synopsis. Both have been written before when this novel was in a different format, so they will have to been rewritten--or written from scratch, depending on how it looks from my first pass.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I'm going to tackle the Query Letter first since it is shorter, and quite frankly I'm more pumped to write it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Once I am finished and satisfied with the letter, I will post it to YALitChat and Gather to get some feedback, plus I will post it here for you guys. I will do the same for the Synopsis afterwards. When I am satisfied that both are polished like fine silver, I will start looking for agents to send them to.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>James Baron</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">PS: A shout out to Jamila for joining my list of followers. I hope you find this blog interesting and entertaining.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-68833349300237501392010-06-18T10:53:00.004-06:002010-06-18T12:09:20.469-06:00Ditching the Book Title - Week # - Day # format<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I figure at this stage of the game I'm not going to bother keeping track of what day or week I am working on a particular book. As titles go, I find in retrospect they are pretty boring and don't say a lot about the content of the post.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So this morning I wrote about our young hero Rifter arriving at cavern that is home to Clan Hearth. He is stunned and amazed by the sight. Clan Hearth has a population of over a hundred people! Rifter's clan of Deep Fathom numbered less than twenty. The most strangers that he has ever seen at one time is six. He is also surprised how old some of the people are, and yet they do not seem to suffer from Tunnel Rot, which is a disease that affects all of Rifter's people as they get older. Clan Deep Fathom's elder Red was thirty-six cycles old, and he looked really, REALLY old. But the warrior Tor from Clan Hearth is thirty-eight cycles, yet he looks fifteen cycles younger in Rifter's eyes.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So that is a brief recap of what I have been writing about lately. Please check out the links in the left hand side panel listing my books if you want to read the chapters written so far.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"><em>James Baron</em> </span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-53676152634576783872010-06-17T08:31:00.003-06:002010-06-17T08:42:57.545-06:00I'm baaaaaacccckkkk!!!!<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I'm baaaaaacccckkkk!!!!</span><br /><br /><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">I finally got back to writing today after what appears to be a 22 day gap. I finished off Chapter Eight of <em>RUST</em> on the bus this morning, so that really felt good. I am planning to do so more editing of Son of Ogres at lunch time, thanks to editing/proof reading that was done by my friend Tom I met on on YALitChat.com. We traded books, so I critiqued his YA book <em>Eden's Rat</em>, while did <em>Son of Ogres</em>. He did a really good job of it too! Asked some questions and made some comments I hadn't considered, so I really look forward to making those changes to my manuscript.</span></p><p><span style="font-family:verdana;">I think I am ready to start my agent hunt now for that book. I will keep you all filled in on the process in the days and weeks ahead.</p></span><p>It's good to be back! </p><p><span style="font-family:verdana;"><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38592185/RUST---Chapter-Six">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38592185/RUST---Chapter-Six</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38717545/RUST---Chapter-Seven">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38717545/RUST---Chapter-Seven</a><br /><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/43888283/RUST---Chapter-Eight">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/43888283/RUST---Chapter-Eight</a> </span></p><p><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span></p><p><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>James Baron</em></span></p>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-63138498057644368882010-05-26T12:44:00.003-06:002010-05-26T13:05:11.307-06:00May is a bad month for blogging<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Hi folks,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">As you may have noticed I haven't had much to say this month. I am still writing, but its been at a slower pace these past few due to other commitments. I think I can still hit my target, but this week I will not be adding to much to my word count--if you know what I mean.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">One of those commitments resulted from becoming a member of a website devoted to people who write--and read--Young Adult books:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://yalitchat.ning.com/"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://yalitchat.ning.com/</span></a><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I am getting feedback both on Son of Ogres and Rust. I decided to introduce Rust as a YA book since two of the main characters are teenagers. This doesn't necessarily mean this is how I will market my book to agents, but at least it is a possibility.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">I am getting some very useful feedback and I hope I am giving some in return. I haven't doing as much on Gather.com lately... :: Bad James :: ...but there are only so many hours in a day, eh?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Well, I will post more when I have more to say.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>James Baron</em> </span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-51283141568703385192010-05-19T11:47:00.002-06:002010-05-19T11:58:41.613-06:00It’s my 20th Wedding Anniversary today! w00t!<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So 20 years ago today my wife and I got hitched. No big plans tonight since she is taking a night class tonight, but there is a 4-day long weekend coming up… </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Has it really been 20 years!?!? I have known her longer than I have not known her. On one hand it doesn’t seem that long, and on the other it seems like she has always been in my life. I guess that is one of the paradoxes of true love, eh? </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Sigh… <strong>:-)</strong></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-58692748834685093722010-05-14T14:43:00.000-06:002010-05-14T14:44:28.640-06:00New RUST Chapter Uploaded - Chpt 7<span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I just posted a new <em>RUST</em> chapter to DocStoc:<br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38717545/RUST---Chapter-Seven"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38717545/RUST---Chapter-Seven</span></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />That is all...</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-62240365613849879842010-05-13T10:30:00.001-06:002010-05-13T10:31:57.589-06:00New RUST Chapter Uploaded - Chpt 6<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I just posted a new <em>RUST</em> chapter to DocStoc:<br /><br /></span><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38592185/RUST---Chapter-Six"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/38592185/RUST---Chapter-Six</span></a><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br />That is all...</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-22764311139350591222010-05-12T08:14:00.003-06:002010-05-12T08:35:25.900-06:00You can now DOWNLOAD my chapters<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Dear faithful readers,</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">It has come to my attention that nobody has been able to download my chapters for the DocStoc website. I had set the copyright setting to "Traditional" and this means you cannot download it...which I didn't know until my buddy informed me his son was going to read <em>NANUQ</em> but he couldn't print it out!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">So I have changed the copyright setting to "Attribution-Non-Commercial-NoDerivs"...which in short means you can now download or print my chapters.</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Here is the location to go to access all the chapters I have posted so far: </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/profile/jamesbaron"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.docstoc.com/profile/jamesbaron</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">Enjoy!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>James Baron</em></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-80003208480783934292010-05-06T09:57:00.002-06:002010-05-06T12:37:25.264-06:00New RUST Chapter Uploaded - Chpt 5<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">I just posted a new RUST chapter to DocStoc:</span><br /><br /><a href="http://www.docstoc.com/docs/37627076/RUST---Chapter-Five"><span style="font-family:verdana;">http://www.docstoc.com/docs/37627076/RUST---Chapter-Five</span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">That is all...</span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4328951737207561177.post-60720056861578546392010-05-04T12:46:00.003-06:002010-05-04T13:13:46.301-06:00RUST - Week Six - Day One<span style="font-family:verdana;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Got back into the world of <em>RUST</em> this morning on the bus. Yesterday I was working on completing my 2nd draft of <em>SON OF OGRES</em>--which I did--and then I emailed it to my proof reader last night. When he gets the time he will take another stab at it. I am practically shivering with excitement about sending this puppy out to agents.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;">So I working on Chapter Five and managed to get onto page two while on the bus. I am really looking forward to writing the interesting part of the chapter and see if it grabs the reader like it hope it does. I want to convey a sense of awe and wonder in my young hero Rifter, and to have the reader feel that as well.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>Continuing on my write of passage,</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:Verdana;"><em>James Baron</em></span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span>James Baronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13275028465427530569noreply@blogger.com0