Monday, May 3, 2010

Proof reading Son of Ogres - Part II

So my proof reader and I were going over my YA/Teen novel, SON OF OGRES, last week. So he spotted some interesting errors, problems that I had missed. Here are a few of them for your reading entertainment:

"Beside him sat a large box of broken pottery. Jagged pottery shards were covered with drying blood. A single tooth lay by the box, broken off at the root."

Proof Reader: Umm...why is there a box of broken pottery in the barn? Isn't that a strange thing to have just lying around?

"Stroggins led him out into the cool night air. Only Mother was out tonight; her light cast a soft glow to the surroundings."

PR: You might want to mention Mother is the name of the moon first...

"The companions stopped at the last town before Nialicburg where they purchased a wagon to hitch to their pair of pack mules. "

PR: Where did the pack mules come from? You never mentioned them until now.

"I am going to be in big trouble if that old dwarf finds out what Tal’rai really means in pix, Bordel thought as he drew nearer to the chamber."

PR: We are near the end of the book and you've only mentioned this express Tal'rai once before in the previous might want to mention early if you want this comment to have any impact on the reader...

Continuing on my write of passage,
James Baron

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