Finale (hopefully) version of my query letter for Son of Ogres

This is my hopefully final stab at this query letter template. It's short, sweet and I think it has a hook for the reader.



Dear Agent,

Brue and Mark are twin brothers, unaware of each other’s existence, because they were raised in different dimensions. Their great-grandmother was an ogre, but only Brue inherited her tremendous size and strength. Brue lives on Pharll, a world of magic and chaos, while Mark was found as an orphan on Earth. Brue leads a small band of loyal followers in a struggle to end slavery on Pharll. Eighteen-year-old Private Mark Sampson has been recruited for a top-secret assignment: to journey to another dimension.

Brue and his band are meeting with little success. The slavers are too many, plus they have dark wizards and evil monstrosities on their side. Mark prepares to journey to another dimension, with no choice in the matter and no idea what he will find on the other side. Little does he know that the general who recruited him has his own secret agenda, an agenda that could get Mark killed.

My young adult fantasy, Son of Ogres, book I of The Sentinels of Pharll series, is complete at 80,000 words. I am a member of YALITCHAT and Gather.com where I participate in writer support groups.

Thank you for your consideration and I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,




James Baron
http://james-baron.blogspot.com/