Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Son of Ogres Synopsis v.2

So here is my second draft of my Son of Ogres Synopsis. This one has more heart and soul, plus it goes to 2 pages. Hopefully this one reads better.

Son of Ogres Synopsis v.2
by James Baron

Brue and Mark are twin brothers, but they are unaware of each other’s existence, because they were raised on different worlds. Brue Overhill lives on Pharll, a world of magic and chaos, whereas Mark Sampson was found as an orphan on Earth. Their great-grandmother was an ogre, but only Brue inherited her tremendous size and strength. The people of his village call him Son of Ogres, and strangers speak of him in hushed tones.

On the day Brue turns fifteen he is trying to work up the nerve to talk to Shaleana, but she’s afraid he’ll step on her. Despite his formidable appearance, he is not a warrior. He just wants to be a farmer like his father, get married and have children. If only Shaleana could see past his hulking exterior and into his heart, then his dreams might be fulfilled. Unfortunately for Brue, Shaleana fearing him is the least of his worries when a slaver in disguise comes to Deervale. Rankmar has heard rumors of a giant living there and has come to investigate. He spots Brue at the Harvest Night Festival and decides to capture him for a hefty commission.

Rankmar waits until Brue is alone on the farm and attacks with four of his men. Brue is terrified and confused. Why are they after me? Then he discovers they are slavers and he fights desperately for his freedom. Brue has never held a sword before, much less used one in a fight, but he picks one up and with his great strength subdues the slavers. Later, Captain Stroggins of the town guard tells Brue to flee and never return, for the slavers will come back in greater numbers. The young giant leaves Deervale, but returns days later; he desperately needs to see his parents one last time. He arrives home and finds his mother and father dead, killed by the slavers in retribution for his escape. Brue buries them and vows he will end slavery on Pharll.

Three years pass and Brue has been joined by a small band of loyal companions, who aid him in trying to stop the slavers. In a world where the different races mistrust others at best, and try to kill each other at worst, Brue’s group is unique. His greatest friendship is with Bordel of the pix, a small race known for their fearlessness and agility. The exiled elven brothers Highborn and Skykey wield magic to aid in Brue’s cause. Gedin hates humans as all dwarves do, so why he helps Brue on his quest is a mystery.

As Brue struggles with being a leader when he is only eighteen, his brother Mark has his own problems. On Earth Private Mark Sampson has been unexpectedly called back from the Persian Gulf. He is taken to a secret underground base where he meets General Taylor Murphy, who tells him he is needed to join a team for a special assignment. Mark is surprised to learn that his mentor, Dr. Zonov (who mysteriously disappeared three years ago), had invented a device called the Dimensional Rifter. The general tells an incredulous Mark that this machine can open a portal between dimensions. Murphy hopes that Mark’s friendship with the missing scientist will aid the mission when they explore another dimension. Mark is nervous of the prospect of journeying to another dimension (who wouldn’t be?), but he doesn’t have much choice in the matter.

On Pharll Brue small band is having little success in their fight with the Slavers Guild, and when Highborn is killed in a raid, Brue considers giving up on his quest. He had hoped that others would be inspired to take up the cause, but they have been fighting this battle alone. The slavers are too many, plus they have dark wizards and evil monstrosities on their side. Brue fears all his friends could die and their deaths will be in vain. But later that night he is visited by the Guardian, who tells Brue that he is a Sentinel of Pharll. The Guardian provides him with a key to could destroy the Slavers Guild.

While Brue is dealing with a wondrous revelation, Mark has stumbled upon one more sinister. Mark and his friend Captain Andy Pritchard have discovered that the government is unaware of General Murphy’s secret project. The general has been working with a multi-millionaire scientist who has been using his money to finance their own private scheme. But Mark learns this too late, for the base is on lockdown and the final portal generation test is about to begin.

As Mark is trying to warn the government, Brue and his friends have finally reached the slaver stronghold. Using a combination of stealth, magic and brute force, they managed to infiltrate the fortress and access its lowest levels. At the bottom is a great cavern supported by a single pillar of stone. Skykey uses his magic to turn stone to sand and the column collapses. The elf was then supposed to teleport them to safety, but his wand was destroyed in the fight and the companions are forced to flee down an unknown tunnel. Unbeknownst to them, the fortress is saved from destruction by Pharll’s evil goddess—The Adversary. She makes a deal with Rankmar, who sends his slavers, dark wizards and their monsters after Brue.

The companions reach the end of the tunnel and discover a vertical pool of multicolored light. Skykey senses that it is magical in nature and that it could be a gateway leading to safety. Taking a leap of faith, they jump through, with enemy hot on their heels. On Earth a scientist activates the Dimensional Rifter and a portal appears in the lab, which Brue and his friends leap out of.
Will Brue and his brother Mark be reunited? Find out in the next book.


  1. Hi James. It's definitely good to see you back blogging. I like this version of the synopsis. I was hooked right away with the idea of twin brothers raised on different worlds. It's an excellent way to begin the synopsis, IMHO. The only question I was left with after reading was the ending. I would want to know just a little bit more about that gateway they leap through and what happens to them at the end. But I love the idea of the lead-in to a second book.

    I hate writing these synopses. I'm struggling with one now myself, and just can't quite get it to work. *sigh*

    And I also wanted to let you know that my book made it through to the final round of the Fresh Blood contest, so there are now just two of us remaining. If I could ask you for your vote one last time, I would really appreciate it. I have all the details up on my blog, and also on Gather.

    Good luck with getting this one out there in the world, James. It sounds like a fabulous story.

  2. Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for the feedback. The first book actually ends on a cliff-hanger with Brue and Co. leaping through the gate into our world. The second book starts seconds later. I would rather publish it as one book, but I have read that YA Agents prefer books from first time authors to be in the 75,000 word range.

    I will check out your blog and then the voting site. Good luck!!!

  3. Hi, James! I agree w/Lisa K--great first 'graph. And I feel like I understand the earth connection much better now (I didn't get it before). I still want to giggle with the whole "step on her" part--sure you don't want to make this a fanta-com? ;p OK, seriously, do you think you might have TMI in your synopsis? It seems very long and info-heavy to me. Perhaps cull it down to the very basic facts of the story so it's just a page--I think agents will be more inclined to read it that way.

    But that's just my two cents! It's getting better all the time~